Be a single mom

 

Nobody had prepared me for this, being a single mom. The windows of heaven open and it’s you, when you were once “you are a couple”. What does it mean, what does it involve, what kills, what strengthens?!
I remember years ago when I was working on a company in Italy I used to work in the office and I always looked at a colleague, she was radiant, a single mom. I was amazed at what body well drawn like Mona Lisa, those lips of wine and that divine smile. She had a son and sometimes when the school called or when she was sick I saw her lose her breath between a letter and the email and from a high heel to a sneaker. And I never understood why she always ran and was up to anything and everything. She was the first in a meeting even though the others were between dream worlds and cappuccino foam. She had to be ready for the simple fact that she had no choice!
And today, it is said, “who has suffered – who has touched the pain understands you.” And I was not ready; I was not prepared nor trained. I do not know if you train the heart to lose a tug every time a child cries, and away a tug; every time that everything has no end and that the immense troubles seem to you like your entire life is drowned in a glass of water. I do not know if you train your logic, to find refuge in comedy and rent a space in serenity hoping for permanent luxury. And after long nights and nights, you wake up, you look in the mirror and you talk to yourself! “I will”! It is a permanent decision that no court disputes and serves no judge. Penance is in life, we have no choice!
But what brings all of this? Nobody knows. We mothers put a piece of iron to steel our heart, we live for the children and we are not able to have a life of our own.

We do not let anyone else interfere and destroy that hard work of years and years alone to educate our children as God commands us to be – sons of the heart, sons of life. We give everything that they can overcome the obstacles to their serenity and their well deserved future. But what does this entail for us? We are independent, willing to defy any mountain with a fist and we can confront any storm and say.. It’s me. I DON’T FEAR YOU… Come .. You don’t frighten me and I don’t tremble! I have finished my tears and I have colored them with life because I have no choice. And not to mention meeting sombody – no way; is that a joke?! We can not, our independence and our hard work could be kicked by fate.  We cover as with the shell of turtle every affection because , no mistake is possible. We must leave it alone but how can we do it, WE CAN’T GO WRONG, WE CAN’T AND OUR TERRITORY IS MARKED! But why?  I will tell you:
A single mom doesn’t forget a wrong, a woman, herself maybe, but a single mom does not have that luxury.
A single mom doesn’t see the second chance, a woman sure does..
A single mom, every time she approaches the insecurity and the odds of life, she does not risk.  A single woman can fascinate a man playing with destiny.
A single mom has her heart rigged with years of hard work and scarred, and she can not go wrong. She dares not to risk and prefers to reign alone in a kingdom marked by uncertainties.
And who will love this kind of queen .. For sure, no human being who fears her and no soldier who serves her. But she knows that the future belongs to her in a kingdom that is her pride.

And I’m here to tell all you untitled queens or realms, single moms, all you heroic moms, that I’m proud of you. That I weep for you in moments of trouble and laugh with you in moments of glory. You have shown the world that Marylin Monroe has nothing on you more than sensuality and smile; that Madam Curie has nothing on your intelligence than you can achieve. I hope one day you will see yourself as I see you. Love, grace, elegance, humility, and sensuality. You ARE the package of a lady who is bringing to the world high-level human beings. The future is yours and thank you for existing.

I love you

Esmeralda

Photo by Entela Seferaj

Written by : Esmeralda Bregaj

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One Comment

  1. Enkeleda Gllava May 19, 2024 at 3:17 pm - Reply

    Sa e bukur dhe domethënëse. Nënat e vetme dhe luftarake tregojnë forcën e gruas që është më e madhja në botë. Zoti ua bekoftë në rrugën tuaj dhe u dhëntë vetëm lumturi e zemrat plot gëzim nga fëmijët tuaj për sakrificat që bëni ndaj tyre

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